Yesterday. Tomorrow. And today.

My beautiful parents celebrated 35 years of marriage yesterday. I've probably told a portion of this story before, but I will tell it again.

My parents met when they were nine. 45 years ago. My mom had just moved to town, one of six children to a twice divorced mother (backstory: my grandma had three boys with one husband, and three girls with her second...she later married a man, who I know as Grandpa, 10 years younger than her, but only 10 years older than her oldest child, and together they had one more daughter). My mom had a decent upbringing, despite not having your traditional, one household family dynamic. But I guess you could still say she was from the bad side of the tracks. My dad was on the other side (the better side), with parents who were still married to each other. A mom who was a local antique dealer, and a father who worked for IBM. My parents were each other's date to a 7th grade homecoming dance, but I guess it didn't go anywhere from there. They were 12. Where exactly could it go at that point in time? They then rekindled their love at the state basketball tournaments their junior year of high school. They've been together ever since. They graduated high school in the summer of '77, and were married on June 10, 1978. My brother was born in April of the following year, with me four years later, and my sister less than two years after that. They had all their babies by the time they were 26. TWENTY SIX! Ufda.

I love my parents. We've had our rocky moments. I've been selfish, entitled, and rotten on many occasions. We've said things to each other that we don't mean. But underneath it all there's always been love. As a married lady now myself, I feel so fortunate to have a stellar example of respect, admiration, and selflessness in my parents. Oh, and they are hilarious to boot. Jesse's parents have been married for almost 42 years as well (we share an anniversary and were married on their 40th). Between the two couples we couldn't be more fortunate when it comes to examples of solid marriages. If we screw this up, we have no one but ourselves to blame. Just kidding. We won't do that.

Tomorrow Jesse turns 32. I was going to do a little ditty about how much I love him, but I think I've met the sap quota for the day. Instead I will tell you that I was just gifted four tickets to the Twins game tonight, and I am taking three of my favorite people. My parents and that guy I married. What better way to celebrate 35+ years of love (yesterday) and my husband's 32nd (tomorrow) than eating our weight in nachos (today)?? There is no better way. Boom.

Hopefully I don't almost get hit with a line drive down the third baseline (while cramming a dog down my throat) like last time, and end up TV. Oh wait. I haven't told you that story. Another time.

My parents on their wedding day, and another one of them on our wedding day. I guess it's not only their love that has gotten better with age.

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Yesterday. Tomorrow. And today.

Don't joke about buying a baby with your friends. They don't think you're funny.

Sometimes I forget that it's not socially acceptable to joke about infertility with just anyone. I mean, this shit is a joke, right? Biggest joke of my life thus far. And that's saying a lot, because I've dated a lot of jokes. Might as well highlight this period in our life for what it is, right?

Right.

So we are hanging with some friends recently and we start talking about how Jesse and I are trying to save some serious money. And how Jesse has got me on a budget so as to save serious monies. Well at least he tries. One of the friends says, "Oh, so you guys finally gonna buy a house, eh?" And without thinking, I blurt out, "Either that or we are going to buy a baby."

Crickets.

Or as the annoying tween I used to nanny would say, "Aaaaaawkward!"

I then mumble even more awkward things that I now can't remember because they were, well, super awkward, and I've completely blocked them out of my mind for-the-evs. And the subject was changed. Because heaven forbid I bring up the one thing in my life that happens to dominate roughly 96% of my daily thoughts. The nerve.

Note to infertile self: Don't talk about buying a baby in front of your friends. It's not funny. Well. You think it's funny. They just think you're weird.

I hate infertility. Like, I REALLY fucking hate it.

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Don't joke about buying a baby with your friends. They don't think you're funny.

Happenings

Pretty sure if Bobo was a homeless dog (again) he would wear a sign around his neck that read, "Have lap? Will sit on it" It's the truth. This dog looooves his lap time.

I haven't been feeling much up to blogging lately. Sads, but trues. No major updates here, but yet May was crazy and we were busy. So there are updates. I just don't want to take the time reveal them. Meh. I did this last summer too. Basically quit blogging for three solid months without a formal announcement (I know, the sheer horror!). This may happen again. If you suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out), feel free to stay in the Lo loop by following along on the Instagrams. @losocrazyeverafter is the name. Obsessive dog pictures is my game.

Sincerely,

Sally J. Friedman (as herself) ◦

Happenings

How far would you go?

This weekend Jesse and I discussed in great detail our plan to save up $25,000+ for IVF. Yes, we still have hope that a miracle is looming. But we also need to be realistic. We discussed acquiring part time jobs, cutting coupons, enlisting Bobo and Apple in dog beauty pageants (is there a reality show for that yet--a dog version of Toddlers and Tiaras?), selling our kidneys on Craigslist. We even discussed the idea of moving somewhere that had state mandated insurance coverage for IVF. Jesse went so far as to apply for a job in Illinois, one of the 14 (or is it 12?) states that requires insurance companies with 25 or more employees to cover IVF. I know there are some loopholes with this law, and I'm not naive to believe that any and every company with 25+ employees in Illinois will cover our IVF. But we thought we'd cast our line out there and see if we got any bites. Now. Will he get the job? Not sure. If he got it, would he accept it? Not sure. One thing I am sure of? I love Minnesota. I love my Minnesota people. I love being close to our families. And the thought of moving away just to achieve something so many other people can do effortlessly and with ease makes me several shades of sad.

I moved for love once. Or rather, for what I thought love was. It didn't last. I was back in Minnesota within six months. Now that I've found my true love, would we move together in pursuit of a something we both so deeply desire?

Sigh. I think we would.

Maybe.

How far would you go?


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How far would you go?

TWI

Linking up with Syndal and Sar, for a fun weekend recapulation.

This weekend, I...

-went to a school carnival. I was paid the big bucks to do so, thus I probably shouldn't complain....but seriously? Those things are so gosh damn obnoxious. I've concluded that I will go to great extremes to keep my kids from these kinds of activities. Complete crazy show. Yes. I've already established I will be the worst.mom.ever someday. Eh, someone's gotta do it.

- Went to some garage sales! Tis the season for outdoor treasure hunting! I scored a cute shirt from H&M, a mason jar, and one of those as-seen-on-TV Topsy Turvy dealie thingies that grows your tomato plants out the bottom while it hangs. Here are my salin' gals. We found this funky tree and determined it was perfect senior picture material.

- enjoyed a BBQ, bonfire, beer, and buds! Jesse helped his friend move for most of Saturday, but joined us in the evening. He also brought Jungle, who provided us with the entertainment portion of the evening. Never a dull moment with that guy. At one point he was conversing with a homeless gentleman in the alley. Not weird at all, right? I have dubbed this summer as the Golden Dirty Thirty Summer. Why? This is suuuuper clever, so be prepared for a great explanation....I turn 30. This summer. And it's my goooolden birf. While it isn't officially summer, I feel like the delayed/non-existent spring means we get to jump start summer. You heard it here first. The Golden Dirty Thirty queen has spoken. And here's that guy and I. He's swell.

- I had my monthly au pair meeting. I have something exciting to share about that, so stay tuned.

- Bummed it big time most of Sunday. Saturday caught up with me. After the BBQ (and Jungle befriending drunk men in the alley), we hopped over to my friend Reid's house. I promptly fell asleep on his couch, while Jesse, Jungle, and Reid stayed up doing what they do usually. Discussing politics and listening to Solid Gold Oldies. I woke up at 2am, and drove us home. Suffice it to say, we slept in like champs today.

And this is where I sign off. Great weekend all in all.

Ohhhhh....but one more thing. Big news here. We have new friends! I noticed this nest in one of my pots from last summer. There are four baby robins living in there. I am a smitten kitten, and have officially become a legit ornithologist. That's a bird biologist, yo! I went to the University of Google. Seriously, though, I have learned soooo much about birds. They are my new jam. These guys are Stanley, Creed, Dwight, and Oscar. Don't be too concerned about the two outside the nest. I guess that's OK. Mama has still been feeding them. They look dead, but they are constantly spazzing and opening their big ol' beakers for some mashed up worms. Cutest/creepiest thing ever.

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TWI

They done good

Even before I was a bitter infertile, Jesse has been to known to give me presents on Mother's Day, per the request of the pupperonis. I can't remember what they did the first year. Probably nothing since we'd only been dating a few months. Year two they got me a George Foreman grill. For year three they got me a staple gun and a new hammer from Home Depot. And last year they let me go buck wild in a greenhouse, where I picked out as many plants and flowers as my garden loving heart desired. Jesse and the dogs are good to their mama. No boudt adout it.

This year. Well this year those knuckleheads went all out. I basically won the puppy dog Mother's Day jackpot. I was taken to my favorite greenhouse in all the land (Bachman's on Lyndale). I picked out my favorite supertunias hanging basket. They are called Pretty Much Picasso. And they are pretty much tremendously gorgeous. I stalk them out every year. From there we went to visit my in-laws and present my MIL with a beautiful bouquet of tulips that I arranged in a Starbucks bathroom while Jesse ordered us frappies.

After a visit with the fam, we headed to check out WhichWich just up the road. It was delicious, and definitely something I probably shouldn't know about. I need another sandwich shop in my life like I need another hole in my head.

We talked about going to Stillwater for some treasure hunting, but I decided I had enough treasures at home to tinker with already. I have the unfortunate habit of picking up pieces of furniture (in need of TLC) at Goodwill and not doing anything with them. Today I vowed to remedy that. And Jesse helped me, which never happens. Suffice it to say, it's a hobby we don't share a passion for. I bring stuff home and he thinks it's all akin to firewood. Jerk.

Here's a before and after of today's project. I'm sorta, majorly proud of it.

Jesse helped with the sanding portion of the project, but for the most part he tended to the dogs, kept me company, and played us some cool cuts on Pandora radio.

The day has come to end, but it wasn't complete before Bobo and Apple petitioned Jesse to make a stop for ice cream/cheese curds.

Seriously, could my dogs be anymore awesome? No. The answer is no.

And now we are watching our newest addiction on Netflix. Trailer Park Boys. It's like the Canadian version of The Office. Minus the office employees. Plus a trailer park. And Bubbles. And copious amounts of the F word. And lots of cats. If you haven't watched this....well just watch it. Jesse does the best Bubbles impression.

Happy Mother's Day. Whether you're on the long, unknown journey to motherhood, or you've already arrived, I hope the day has been good to you.

And happiest Mother's Day to my favorite in all the land. I feel so blessed to have this woman still in my life. So many have lost their mamas. I am fortunate to have mine still, and enjoyed celebrating her (and my dad's birthday) last weekend.

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They done good

Vulnerability

Sometimes I get down on myself for being so open about our infertility. Sharing our story has been cathartic for me at times, and it's allowed me to get to know other women with similar journeys. But it has also made me feel crazy vulnerable. Sometimes I don't know what the lesser of the two evils are. One evil of being vulnerable. Opening myself up and being honest about the struggles we face. And the other evil, keeping everything bottled up, and not sharing our story at all.

And then I see little things like this.

And it's a reminder that being vulnerable IS alright. And I hope that my story will be a help in healing someone else. 

What's your story? 

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Vulnerability