Advent Tree

Alright. Let's get down to business.

Tonight I did a little fartsing and a little crafting. In no particular order. For those of you who are pretty new around and/or completely grossed out by my flatulence reference, please know that I am a lady. I don't fart. But I do partake in the occasional farts and craft project. And sometimes I try to blog about them. Emphasis on try.

I have been perusing that Pinterest lately, and have really been inspired to make an Advent calendar of sorts for Jesse and I (and the naughty puppies) this holiday season. There wasn't one particular calendar that I decided to emulate, but I did gain quite a bit of pinspiration. I also really liked the Advent calendars from Hardly Housewives, and It's A Strange And Lovely Ride. Good job, ladies.

Here she be.

Oh wait. This is the husband walking by my hot mess of a craft table right as I was attempting to take a picture of the hot mess of a craft table. And what's he got on the laptop? Is that our blog? Maybe he does read our blog after all. It's a Christmas miracle, folks!

Now HERE is the finished product!

Want to know how I did this?

Yes? No? Maybe?

Items you need:

• 25 large gift tags (I purchased two packs of 15 at JoAnn Fabrics)
• Number stamps, number stickers, or number stencils (craft stores--Michaels, JoAnne's, Hobby Lobby, etc)...or you can hand write them. Whatever trips your trigger.
• Paint, stamp pad, or markers (can be purchased at aforementioned craft stores)
• Twine or jute rope (either at hardware store or jewelry section of craft stores)
• And this tape:

I have absolutely no idea what this stuff is. My mom sent it home with me a few years ago, and I was just reacquainted with it whilst digging at the bottom of my crafting box of craft junk treasures. It was not what I was intending to use for this project (burlap was my original intended material), but when I saw it I had an aha moment, and decided to give it a whirl. It worked out perfectly, and added a fun texture to the front of the tags.

**Update: My bloggy friends over at Our Waldo Bungie (you need to read the recent posts written by their dog, Turk--adorable) commented earlier today with this valuable information about the mysterious tape: "That tape looks like the tape you can buy at a hardware store when you are filling holes in the wall (I can't remember what it's called but it helps to hold spackle or something)." I completely believe every word so be sure to check for this fancy schmancy tape if you're going to give this project a try.

I am really bad at this tutorial stuff. I think you can pretty much figure out what I did, right?

No?

Sorry.

Here are pictures of the tags all finished up. I stamped a number (1-25) on the corner of each tag, added a twine hanger, and voila, we were in business. Each one will have something different written on the back.

And then I hung them on the tree.

Oh yeah. That's our tree. I sorta, kinda forgot to post a picture of it after writing part one of our Thanksgiving wrap up. Let's just consider this part two, OK? We even managed to decorate for the holiday season without too much colorful language (while enjoying back to back to back episodes of The Wonder Years--best show ever!). Please make no mention of the gourds and pumpkins under the tree. I got oddly attached to my pumpkins this year, and can't quite part with them yet. Just call me the gourd hord.

Here is what the tree looked like before I put the tags on it, but taken with the camera that is not also my phonetacular.

And here is the help I hired to aid me in this super easy breezy project. I paid in belly rubs (for Jesse) and kisses (for Bobo). Apparently that wasn't enough because they quit shortly after we had a heated discussion about how one should tie the twine hangers. They were doing it all wrong, mind you.



As I mentioned previously, each tag has something different written on that back. Some are things we already had planned into our Christmas season, others are things we do usually whether it's Christmastime or not, and some of them are brand new experiences. All are events/activities/awesomeness that will provide us with tons of memories of our first Christmas together as a married couple. We hung them all on our Christmas tree, and each day (starting tomorrow) we will pick off the number that matches the date. See where I am going with this? It's completely cheesy and dorky. But I am excited. Jesse is too. Sorta.

Here's our list. In no particular order.

1. Write a letter to each other.
2. Make Fat Linda Bars (our "wedding cake"/my mom's world famous bars).
3. Make puppy treats (recipe here).
4. Make something new or different for dinner, but doing it together (no Totino's pizza rolls!).
5. Pick out a holiday movie on Netflix to watch together (Love Actually? Yes, please!).
6. An ornament exchange.
7. Volunteer with Safe Hands Pet Rescue that day, or plan for another day in the near future.
8. A silly present from AxMan that reminds you of the other person (we love AxMan).
9. Winter walk with puppies around Theodore Wirth Parkway.
10. A random act of kindness toward someone you don't know.
11. A surprise!
12. Working out together (we better do this more than once next month-yikes!)
13. Ice skating (Jesse told me he'd take me since our first date--about dang time!)
14. Make a snow angel.
15. New winter apparel--new socks, mittens, hat, etc.
16. Share half price aps at Applebee's and play Bargo.
17. Frame a silly picture.
18. Write about a Christmas memory.
19. Try a new beer at your favorite bar.
20. Get soggy nachos from the Muddy Pig.
21. Go look at Christmas lights together.
22. Go Christmas shopping.
23. Write a letter to Santa.
24. Play Scrabble.
25. Play Yahtzee.

Do you do an Advent calendar with your friends and family? What's your favorite Advent tradition? I'd love to hear about it!

I linked this up to the DIY Show Off Holiday Highlights par-tay. Make sure to check it out, along with a bunch of other great holiday projects.

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Advent Tree

WOW: Facebook status edition

What am I wild on Wednesday for right now, you ask?

Oh. You didn't ask?

Well I am going to tell you anyway. Deal with it.

My Facebook status from like five minutes ago was, and still is as follows:

Dang you, holidays. And it pains me to say this...but dang you, Pinterest. You're giving me an itch for crafting that needs to be scratched. Currently in the crafting queue: homemade advent calendar, ornaments, and garlands. Does anyone have number stamps or stencils I can borrow? My mom always makes her own but I don't think I am that creative.


I am so about to get my farts and crafts groove on tonight. I made a special trip to JoAnne's yesterday. I am totally going to Crafter's Hell because I went without a coupon. Gasp!!! Oh well. I like to live life on the edge. Feel free to judge me.

Farts and crafts details forthcoming.

Are you Wild on Wednesday too? Can't wait to read it, read it, read all about it! Sorry. Channeling my inner Newsie. I just love that movie. Remember when Christian Bale wasn't a complete douche canoe? ◦

WOW: Facebook status edition

Internet Famous

I interrupt the previous blog post with a big (well, big to us) announcement....

Remember how I told you Jesse and I met on Match.com, right? You don't? Well we did. We exchanged a few messages back at the beginning of January 2009, and went on our first date on January 27th, 2009 (read a bit more about us if you'd like)...and well, it's been all down hill from there. Just kidding. It's been a joyride. I am going to go all Jerry Maguire on your butt, and just confess it already...Jesse Gregory Jerle, you complete me (insert a big ol' awwww here). Not to mention that most of my friends think it's nothing short of a modern day miracle that someone as laid back, chill, and awesome sauce as Jesse puts up with me--a self-professed all over the place crazy show. And I love that. No one knows why him and I work. To be honest, neither do Jesse or I. But we're just going to go with it cuz it just feels right. And there isn't a day where we don't make each other laugh.

So where was I going with this? Oh. The big announcement.

Match.com just featured little 'ol us on their blog as a Match.com success story. Apparently it was featured last Monday, but I didn't find it until last night. Oh well. They gave us free t-shirts. They haven't come in the mail yet, but when they do you can bet your butt I will be forcing Jesse to have a Match.com inspired photo shoot with me.

Here is the story. It's nothing much--just a picture of us, along with a little blurb about us as a couple. Something cheesy about me initially liking Jesse because he loves chocolate milk, even though I loathe it. Just go read it. And leave them a comment telling them you think we should get paid the big bucks to promote the Match.com brand. Do it so I can quit my job. Just kidding. I love my job.

Oh. And one more thing. Are you single and ready to mingle? You should seriously give Match.com a shot. The family I work for met on Match, and are happily married with two sweet kids (that they pay me to take care of). Several of our friends and acquaintances met on Match. It's clearly the cool thing to do. So if you want to be cool you'll do it too.

PS-Match.com did not pay me to say this. Promise.

Do you know any Match.com success stories? How about some online dating horror stories? Honey, I could write a book with some of my experiences. I'd tell you each and every one of them, but my husband transforms into the Hulk whenever I bring up my exes. Just kidding. Totally not the case. ◦

Internet Famous

That's a (Thanksgiving) wrap (up): Part one

It's that time. Time to share poorly captured mobile snapshots from our Thanksgiving weekend. Complete with unnecessarily cheesy and wordy captions.

Last time we chatted I was gettin' all Wild On Wednesday (glad you showed up to the party K Si, albeit two days late--that Macy's Day parade looked awesome!). I enjoyed a few drinks and some magnificent Mexican cuisine with a couple of my nanny gals at a newly discovered restaurant in NE Minneapolis. Nordest is truly one of my favoritest parts of this city. You'd think I'd frequent the neighborhood more often considering we live so close, but alas, I do not. At least not enough. Adding that to my list of things to do. More NE Mpls adventures. Stat.

Thanksgiving was so...relaxing. I know. Relaxing is so cliche, but that's exactly what it was. And exactly what I needed.

 We stopped off at Jesse's parent's place (I can legally call them my in-laws now), where we enjoyed some family togetherness. We ate good food and watched football (I had a perfect score in my pick 'em league that day). Jesse's brother kept us all laughing with stories of his life in South Dakota, and Apple and Bobo had their fair share of table scraps (void of turkey bones of course). Apple was especially loving turkey carving time. Carve one piece for the family. Carve one piece for Apple. That is seriously how it went down. Spoiled rotten puppy girl.

From there it was off to my parent's place. There are no human grandbabies from any of us, but there isn't a lack of canine grandbabies. It's a full house when all of us make it home for the holidays. My dogs can be anything but calm, so I was pleasantly surprised at how well all the dogs got along. Sadly for Bobo he is either in his crate or in Jesse's arms (flappin' like a fish) when we're around other dogs. It's for his own good as he is convinced he has the strength of a bull mastif when interacting with the big dogs. Oh to have his confidence.

The food was great. The company was even better. We listened to Arlo Gutherie's Alice's Restaurant (I am convinced part of that song is now the jingle for Great Clips--anyone feelin' me on this?), watched National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation with the girls, while the guys bucked the famiily tadition by watching fooseball in the basement. I am pretty sure my mom lasted seven minutes before she was sawing logs. A near record for her. 

Oh and before the boys retreated to the basement for butt scratching and belching, they offered to do the Thanksgiving dishes. How about that kitchen? Lot 'o color, eh? I love it. My mom created and put up a mosaic back splash in this kitchen all by herself. As in piece by piece. She was a DIY genius long before it was the cool thing to do. ;)

I truly cherish every minute at home on the farm with my family. We can sometimes get on each other's nerves, but in the end we're still family, and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything. Nor would I give a plug nickel for another one like them. That's a little saying my mom used to have for me. She'd say, "Lauren, I love you. And I wouldn't take a million dollars for you. But I surely wouldn't give a plug nickel for another one like you." I think that's a good thing, right?

By Friday afternoon Jesse, myself, and the pups were heading back home to enjoy the rest of our weekend together. We had been mulling over what we were going to do for a Christmas tree for the last several days, and decided to stop off at a tree farm on I-35 while en route to Minneapolis. Just to look. Remember how "just looking" turned out for us when car shopping for my new set of wheels? Same thing happened when shopping for a Christmas tree. We totally bought one. Maybe I will write about why we decided to go live instead of faux. But there's a good chance I am all talk, and won't bore you with the details.

Now. I am not a seasoned Christmas tree picker outer or anything, but I think you just know when you find The One. The clouds part, the sun shines through, and the Hallelujah Chorus plays overhead. That's what happened when you picked out your tree, right? No? Well you've clearly not found The One yet. Don't worry. It will happen. You just need to open your heart, and the perfect tree will find you. Uhhh. Why do I feel like I am the narrator for a hokey Hallmark movie? Aaaand end scene.

We walked around the grounds for the greater part of an hour, just making sure we saw everything. The place was not that large so the hour basically consisted of me running around in circles like a crazed lunatic looking, molesting, and smelling all the pretty trees (true story, just ask my husband). I saw The One almost right away, and kept coming back to see if she was still there. And she was. I saw a few other people circling her general vicinity so I decided to mark my territory by peeing on it. Just kidding. I didn't pee on my tree. But I did hug and kiss her, and made Jesse politely asked Jesse to take her up front so we could bring her home and make her even purdier than she was already.

What? You thought I was kidding when I said I kissed my tree? Nope. And if you look really closely at this picture you will also see exactly where that first, second, and third helping of the corn casserole went from this weekend. Through the lips, and straight to the hips, my friends. Seriously, you guys. This weekend was a nonstop eating marathon for me. While running errands with Jesse tonight I had to unbutton the top of my jeans because they were uncomfortably snug on my waist. For that reason we decided it best not to stop off at Dairy Queen for a treat. We stopped off and bought mini pints at the grocery store instead. Shhh. At least it's better on the wallet...if I managed to avoid the candy aisle on the way out the door. Which I kinda, sorta didn't. How did we get on this topic?

Trees. We're talking about trees.

And here is Jesse posing in front of our little girl. And yes, I totally made him take this picture. Doesn't this picture just scream, "I love my wife! She's the best in all the land!!" Yeah. Or maybe he was dreaming of his life pre-me. It's OK. He'll thank me later when he is looking for a bunch of poor quality images to use for his scrapbooking retreat with the boys this winter.

(let's pause for a moment while we imagine Jesse and his buds sitting around a huge table, drinking beer and scrapbooking together--omg, seriously, I am lol'ing.)

Alright. I am done recrapping the weekend for now. I know I only brought you to Friday night. It's just that this weekend was so unbelievably awesome that I need to break it up into a two part series. But I will leave you with a few more mobile uploads. Hopefully I find my real camera one of these days. I keep losing it and I am beginning to think it's a conspiracy. And I am pretty sure my husband is at the head of it. A message to my husband: You can steal my camera. And you can hide it. But you will NEVER take away my mobile uploads.

And boom goes the dynamite.



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That's a (Thanksgiving) wrap (up): Part one

Wild On Wednesday: Thanksgiving edition

Gotta make this WOW post a quick one. I am about to meet a few of my nanny ladies for some adult refreshments so we can kick off our long holiday weekend in style.

Here's your very first Wild On Wednesday math problem. I studied really hard and I think I figured it out. I encourage you to give it a go yourself (if you're 21 plus). There will be a test later.

Adult beverage(s) + long weekend  = WOW!

I know I said this already, but happy Thanksgiving.

I plan on spending my time with this guy:

And these guys:



And these guys too:

Oh. And these buggers. Sure am thankful for them in my life.



Note: Both Jesse and Apple look high in this picture. But I 
promise the only thing they are high on is life.



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Wild On Wednesday: Thanksgiving edition

Nanny Fail

I took the babes to Target for an outing this morning. One of the many perks of my awesome job: Target is looked upon as an educational experience. Kind of. We don't go often, but today we needed to get out of the house for a bit. Toddler Tuesday at the Mall of America seemed a bit too daunting this close to the holidays so off to our happy place (Target!) we went.

Today's learned lesson for both babes and nanny alike: Don't go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. Unless you want to leave with the ingredients for five separate Thanksgiving dishes (when you're only expected to bring one), along with three bags of pizza rolls (in my defense, the 40 count bags were on sale for $3). Oh. And I also picked up the fixings for a buffalo chicken quesadilla that I planned on making (and devouring) the minute I got home as soon as I had the crazies fed and settled. I love me some buffalo chicken inspired cuisine.

Sadly the buffalo chicken quesadilla was not to be. The sauce didn't fair so well thanks to the unsolicited help of the very adorable 18 month old, Ainsley Jo. My back was turned away from her for six seconds (I was grabbing Jack from the car), and in that time I heard glass shatter, followed by a little voice repeating over and over again, "Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh..." Uh oh is right. Nanny fail. Big time.

And yes, there is another nanny fail in this picture. Look closely. That's most certainly is canned chicken. It's OK to judge me, but then go ahead to tell me exactly how I should grill a chicken breast while wrangling an 18 month and 6 month old simultaneously. No thanks. Sometimes it's all about the convenience of the can.

Have you ever had a buffalo chicken quesadilla before? Definitely do that. Ever shopped on an empty stomach? Definitely do not do that. Unless you want to get a text message from your husband asking you what you bought at Target totalling nearly $100. OOPS!

PS--Stop over to Carla's blog to read about a spill of a different variety that her and Alex experienced recently too. Too funny that we posted blogs within an hour of each other, and both were about accidental spills.

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Nanny Fail

Danke Schoen

It's turkey time in a few short days.

Time to slip on my eating pants (elastic wasitband is key to successful chow sessions).

Time to hang out with the fams.

And time to watch this:

Raise your hand if you partake in a little National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation viewage at least once during the holidays.

Me, me, me!!

Yep. I am a Jerle now (take note, host at Buffalo Wild Wings this past weekend: Jerle, as in rhymes with Cheryl, NOT Shirley) but I will always be 110% Cooper when it comes to my love of this Chevy Chase holiday cult classic. Our Thanksgiving isn't quite complete without someone throwing around a few Cousin Eddie quotes. My favorite being, "The shitter was full."

OK. Another video. If you insist.

Side note: Has anyone been keeping up with Randy Quaid as of late? My theory is that he is trying to outdo his Uncle Eddie character in real life. A whole lot of crazy happening right there. Is that life immitating art or what?

Have a big fat HAPPY Thanksgivings!

PS--we're definitely not the Petersiks, but we've been working on our thankful jar. Stay tuned!

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Danke Schoen

Oh Christmas tree!

I am seeing a plethora of Facebook updates from people getting a head start on their Christmas decorating. I am pretty indifferent about early Christmas-ing. I don't think it's cardinal sin to put up the tree before Thanksgiving. Do what ya gotta do is what I say. As for Jesse and I--we haven't done much. OK. We haven't done a danged thing. Last year we lived in an apartment complex. My decorating consisted of a tacky three foot pre-lit tree from Target that teetered on top of a table, with a red bath towel adorning the base as a make shift tree skirt. Listen guys, I know you're all chompin' at the bit to have me help you decorate, but there is only so much Martha Stewart to go around. You'll just have to take a number, OK? But play your cards right and the first 100 readers to leave a comment on this post could be eligible to receive a free Christmas decorating e-consult from yours truly.

I commented on my friend, Beth's holiday infused status today.

Beth: Ok I couldn't help it, the Christmas tree is up. I'm tuckered out and I haven't even decorated it yet!! That can wait till day after Thanksgiving.

After reading the string of comments left on her update I learned that the reason she was so plum tuckered out was because she had to fan and fluff out all of the branches on their artificial Christmas tree (in addition to chasing around a one and three year old--super mom!). Feeling like I had the answer to everything, I commented with this:

"Get a live tree! The branches are pre-fluffed. But I am sure the energy exhausted in faux-tree fluffling is nothing compared to what I will be doing sweeping up needles and trying to keep Bobo from drowning himself in the tree stand water. Yeah. Just got a mental picture of that madness. We'll probably get a fake one too now."

So now I am stuck. I know I won't be using the pathetic excuse of a tree from last winter. We gave it away to one of our neighbors before we moved this past spring. Jesse thinks we should go live this year. I was game for this as well. Until visions of Bobo's body floating in tree stand water danced in my head. Wait. That's probably why Jesse is so insistent on going live. Just kidding, fellow dog lovers. I would probably let my husband drown in tree stand water (he can't swim) before I let anything happen to Bobo.  

What do you do? Live or faux? 

What about holiday traditions? This is mine and Jesse's third holiday season together, but our first as woman and husband (yep, I went there, cuz man and wife is so antiquated). We don't go completely loco with the holidays, but I'd like to start a few fun traditions of our own. And please keep in mind that I am not always dealing with a holly jolly team player. The Thanksgiving jar hasn't been the biggest of hits with Jesse and Bobby thus far. Nothing like forcing two grown men to be thankful. Bunch of unappreciative brats (that I love unconditionally regardless)!

Tell me some of your holiday ideas. Volunteering at a food shelter? Toys For Tots? Christmas caroling? Soaking in the patio hot tub and then rolling in the freshly fallen snow?? The latter may or may not have been something my dad did a couple years ago on Christmas. ◦

Oh Christmas tree!

Friday Funny

I used to go hunting with my dad and brother.

Whoa. Jump back. Me? Hunting?

By hunting I mean, I didn't actually carry a gun, but rather a very large stick. Wait. Maybe that was in the gun safety class I took before I was allowed to go on hunting excursions. Thanks, Dad. If I didn't "stick" out enough as the only girl in the class, I was also the only one who wasn't carrying an actual gun during the instructional time. Why my dear daddy didn't feel comfortable letting me handle my own firearm I will never know. Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? But I got the last laugh. All the other boys in my class didn't have loaded firearms during their training. My stick gun? Totally. Loaded.

So once I passed gun safety with flying colors (you should have seen me aim and fire my stick gun with great precision) I was finally allowed to hunt with the pops and big brother. Pheasant hunting. I even carried a gun and stuff. It was pretty rad. OK. Lying. Not rad at all. Have you ever tried to pee standing up? In a ditch? On a windy day? I rest my case. Suffice it to say lots of whining and complaining happened. And I wish I could have jumped in a time travel machine to use my Go Girl (made in Minnesota, represent!). If I had pictures of those blessed memories I would post them. Not pictures of me using a Go Girl, silly. Pictures of the hunting adventure with my boys. But alas, I do not have any. I encourage you to use your imagination. But only to imagine my feeble attempts at hunting. Not of me using a Go Girl.

But I do have a picture of this.

I seriously PIMP'ed laughing when I saw this picture.

 I what?

PIMP'ed. I Peed In My Pants laughing. True story.

Happy hunting to those who hunt.

And to the hunted? Sure sucks to be you.

I plan on doing a little hunting of my own this weekend. Of the treasure variety. Maybe I will don my blaze orange for old time sake. That way the deals will really be able to jump out at me. ◦

Friday Funny

Crazy Ever After In Action

What's better than reading all about our crazy ever after life? How about seeing some of it in action?? I am not much of an avid Youtuber, but I just added our channel over to the top left side of the blog. Feel free to kick it up a notch, and stalk us that way too. There's only three videos so don't get too excited.

There is one video that I am particularly fond of. And no, it's not the one of me tripping while on our nature walk last month (but that was pretty awesome). It's the photo compilation that our ahhhmazing wedding photographer made for us. Not to completely come off like a bride who can't grasp the concept that her wedding is over (trust me when I say that I am more than thrilled with that year of planning madness being O-V-E-R), I kinda, sorta still like to watch this every now and again. Just because. And no, I do not watch it in a dark room, with a box of Kleenex, while wearing my wedding dress. OK. ONE TIME! Just kidding. Seriously have never done that. I'm crazy, but I am not THAT crazy. Ha! 

So here it is. For those of you who experienced this magical day with us: Thank you so much for being there. It wouldn't have been nearly as special without you there to celebrate with us. For those of you who weren't there: My intent has been to write a few posts about the day, but every time I start writing about it I can't quite find the right words (what? Lauren at a loss for words?!?). So until I do (if I ever do) here is a video of our special day. Enjoy!

 Oh and if anyone knows who is singing the accompanying song, please leave me a comment and let me know. I have had people ask me, but I have no idea. Add that to my list of things to google. 

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Crazy Ever After In Action

Hunt & Gather

I discovered a new place to find treasures!! For those of you who know me well you know I love a good treasure hunt. I have been wanting to check out the infamous Hunt and Gather since pretty much forever, but whenever I am in that area I have two cute babies in tow. Love those peanuts to pieces, but treasure hunting trips with them is strictly taboo, not to mention completely void of any fun. Searching out good deals and steals is something I do to escape, something I rarely do with anyone but myself (unless you're a fellow thrifter that can appreciate the thrill of the hunt). So I got off work early the other day and decided to make the stop off to this elusive shop. Finally. Let me tell you. This was the coolest place. Ever. A little on the expensive side, but I still found a few things worth bringing home with me.

My very favorite treasure?


Great-great-great Grandfather Boneilus, circa 1878

 I happened upon a rare and antique piece that (maybe) has ties to our own Bobo dog. It was (quite possibly) a picture of his late Great-great-great Grandfather Boneilus.

America's Next Top Dog Model, circa 2010

Isn't the resemblance uncanny? The minute I laid eyes on that picture I knew that I had to scoop it up, bring it home, and be it's rightful owner.

For now it sits on our kitchen table/catch-all location for all things that come into our house when we don't know what to do with it. I will hang it up eventually. Maybe. If Jesse's lucky.

I showed it to Bobo as soon as I got home. He was clearly taken back by the striking resemblance as well. And there's Apple is in the background, jealous that I didn't happen upon a painting of one of her late great relatives as well. Sorry, Aps. Maybe next time.

Want to see what else I scored? No? OK. Whatevs. I have a project in mind for a few of the other treasures I bought, and I don't want to ruin the element of the surprise anyway.

If you live in the Minneapolis area you should definitely check out Hunt and Gather. They are on The Facebooks too. They are having a sale this weekend, along with several other quaint, little shops in near them. Word has it a lot of things are going to be 20% off. I might need to go back.

I also wanted to mention a couple local bloggers who have also written about some fun places to discover treasures. Read Sarah's blog post about a neat place called The Cottage House that her and her husband visited recently. It's only open once a month so make sure to check their website for dates (pssst...looks like the weekend after Thanksgiving is one of those times). Also check out Carla's blog post about Bauer Brother's Salvage in Minneapolis. Carla has even taken me there and it proved to be a very awesome experience. I think we're definitely due for another visit.

Do you like the thrill of the hunting for treasures? Garage sale season is coming to an end (insert sad face here). I need a few more good suggestions to pass the cold winter months.

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Hunt & Gather

Wild On Wednesday: Bobby!

I know at least one of you (ahem, Babsy) have been waiting all day with baited breath for the arrival of Bobby's Wild on Wednesday blog post. For that reason I will keep this introduction short. Bobby (or Robert when you're feelin' fancy) is our mostly fabulous roommate. He is funny. He is a hot mess. He is my bestie. He was also fashionably late to this WOW party, and only emailed me the following literary masterpiece minutes before jetting off to see the most recent Muppets movie in the theater (no judgement please).  

And a side note before we continue. Go check out K Si's blog (she's baaaaack!!) to see who else linked up to our party last week. Hoping they join the fun again this week too. C'mon, let out your inner wild child.

Ladies and gents, I give you our dear boy, Roberto Gielser.

Hi there!  I’m Robert.  I’m Lauren & Jesse’s new (and old) roommate.  For months, Lauren has been begging me to read her blog and contribute a guest post.  I’ve tried putting it off, but now she’s standing over me with a mason jar full of sulfuric acid so, unless I want to look like Divine toward the end of Female Trouble, I have to get crackin’!

My assignment is to write about something that I’m “wild on”.  This is a struggle.  I’m “wild on” so many things; the arts, physics, hackneyed phrases stolen from vapid cable networks.  After much thought, I’ve decided what I’m most “wild on” is underage drinking.  JUST KIDDING!  Underage drinking is unsafe and illegal and you shouldn’t do it.

So, what about a post about Crash Bandicoot?  Nope.  Too juvenile.  How about something about vegetables?  Nuh-uh.  I became obsessed with their fiber content and tried putting in too many potty jokes (I know what you’re thinking: “Potty humor would really class this blog up!”).  No, this post has to be about something I’m truly “wild on”; and that, my friends, is fun-facts!  Before reading the following list, prepare to have your mind blow.

• The song “Macarena” is about a flamenco dancer from Venezuela.  Her real name is Diana Patricia Cubillán Herrera.  I snuck backstage at one of her shows and got to meet her.
• Equal parts white vinegar and water makes a very effective and environmentally friendly glass cleaner. 
• The term “creole” doesn’t refer to a specific language but a linguistic phenomenon in which a new language is created by mixing two or more parent languages.
• Urine is sterile unless there is a disease condition that contaminates it.
• The veins in shrimp are actually intestinal tracts, so unless you want to eat feces, devein your shrimp before eating!
• Gynecomastia is the scientific name for the condition that makes man-boobs.
• The gravitational force is the weakest of the four fundamental forces.  The other three are electromagnetism, the nuclear strong force and, ironically, the nuclear weak force.
• There are two sets of primary colors called additive and subtractive primary colors.  The additive primary colors are red, blue and green; the subtractive primaries are red, blue and yellow.
• Strained yogurt has up to twice as much protein as regular yogurt per serving.
• Though Cleopatra was the monarch of Egypt, she was of Greek descent.

That should do it for now.  I hope you learned something new!

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Wild On Wednesday: Bobby!

Wild on Wednesday: please stand by

Bad news: I don't have a Wild on Wednesday post for you.

Good news: I am in the process of working with a special WOW guest contributor. He goes by the name of Bobby (AKA the newest addition to the Jerle household). Once he found out that this blog is not actually a wedding blog (was it ever really much of a wedding blog?) but rather a hodge podge of semi-useful/semi-useless information (I choose to consider it semi-useful as I have always been a glass half full kinda gal), he was more than happy to fill up a Word document with his share of wild tidbits.

So please stand by while I await my bestie/roommate (for the fifth time), Bobbo boy's very first Wild on Wednesday blog post.

Look excited. You know you are.

Be prepared for some completely inappropriate and low brow humor. You don't like low brow humor? Might want to skip this one then.

PS: did I ever tell you about that guy I dated who said I talked about poop too much? Yeah, that relationship didn't pan out. For that reason, and because I wasn't his only girlfriend. Apparently having more than one girlfriend is cool, but poop humor = bad. But I am not bitter at all.

And Bobby? Don't disappoint me, mmkay?

Oh and the rest of you? I want to see some WOWzing from you too! ◦

Wild on Wednesday: please stand by

Thanks Mom. For Life.

Anyone remember those "thanks mom for life" stickers? I had one when I was little so I gave it to my mom. I just tried to Google them but couldn't find the sticker. And if Google has no recollection of these stickers then it's quite possible I dreamt up the whole thing. Which is entirely possible considering who we're dealing with here. Me.

Totally being a copycat up in here but Jesse, Bobby (our fake adult baby/roommate), Bobo, Apple, and I are totally doing a our own rendition of the thankful jar this year for Thanksgiving. It's so on. You should do one too. And then at the end of the month we'll all share what we're thankful for. Because we're so very thankful. And ridiculously corny to boot.

Give thanks. To your mom. Your dad. Your boss. Your homies. Your home slices. Your dentist. Your gynecologist. Your proctologist. I could keep going...but I think I hear the babies stirring from their morning naps. Duty calls. ◦

Thanks Mom. For Life.

Pin or Die.

I got the above picture text from The Hulk earlier tonight. I don't know what was more alarming. That The Hulk has my phone number. Or that he and Linda are back together. I guess both are equally alarming. And a teeny bit awesome too.

Message received.

I am a bit apprehensive with this Pinterest business but you might as well follow me. If you want to that is. But I need your help. I don't really have a whole lot of an idea as to what I am doing. And I am lazy. The few things I pinned were things I found online while doing Google searches. Oh and I repinned (that's the word, right?) a thankful tree my cousin, Ashley pinned (and ironically something fellow blogger, The Candace blogged about making just recently herself). What else should I pin? Help a sista out, will ya? Go ahead and click the magical P below. Follow this reluctant pinner as she reluctantly pins the crap out of things.

PS--I made a feeble attempt at describing Pinterest to the roommate (I introduced him to y'all toward the end of this WOW post last week) and this is how our conversation went:

Bobby: So it's like a glorified version of your browser history?

Me: I guess? And everyone is doing it so I feel like I should be too. I don't want to miss out on what the cool kids are doing.

Bobby: So if everyone jumped off a cliff would you too?

Me: If it would increase my blog readership, of course I would! Plus I'd probably break my legs while doing it, and be forced to start a Caring Bridge webpage. And you know how people just eat that stuff up?

OK. Too much? So the conversation didn't go exactly like that. But it went a leetle somethin' like that. And you wonder why Jesse locked himself in our bedroom to watch the Vikings get clobbered by the Packers tonight (insert sad face here)? That game was probably more enjoyable than being subjected to my and Bobby's riveting Pinterest discussion.

Now what are you waiting for? I have been on Pinterest for about five minutes...errr, about a month, and I almost have more followers on there than I do on this blog. This blog that I have poured months of blood, sweat, and witty puns into. What gives?

Oh and one more question, ok? This Google + business. I noticed that someone "plus 1'ed" a few of my blogs. I don't do Google + and I want to know what that means. I suppose I could always Google it...

Oh. You thought I was done? Nope. A big thank you to Gwen from The Bold Abode for helping me make a few minor changed to my blog tonight. It's nothing major (hence the term minor in the previous sentence) but she was sweet enough to email me and respond to a few of my questions, and it was majorly appreciated. She's a swell gal. Go check out her blog. Like now. ◦

Pin or Die.

That post about Pinterest (and a shout out to my boy, Billy Joel)

An excerpt from my diary my Facebook from October 10, 2011. 

"Darn you, Pinterest. I am now on board. This could very well be the start of something beautiful. But if this turns into a nasty obsession I am blaming the following people: Jill*, Kristal*, Amanda*, Becky*, amongst many, many others. You've been warned."

I fought it tooth and nail, but I finally accepted a Pinerest invitation that was thrown my way from my cousin, Jill last month. And can I be honest? I know I am a black sheep here, but I am pretty "meh" about the whole experience. It's really not doing much for me. Plus I get grossly overwhelmed and anxious whenever I sign into my account. Too. Much. Stuff. Coming. At. Me. AllAtOnce. AHHHH! To top it all off, I feel myself being taken over with some major guilt because I can't like Pinterest like everyone else can. What's wrong with me? I can't quite pin down a reason (Get it? Pin? Oh snap!).


Maybe it will be a skinny jeans thing. I will hop on board once everyone else (and their mother and hipster look lovin' father) has done it. And will continue to even after the skinny jean ship has sailed and sunk to the bottom of the skinny jean sea. Or maybe it will be like a Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, and Twilight thing. I'll never get those fascinations. Says the 28 year old who has had an unhealthy obsession with Billy Joel since the age of two. Basically I am saying that my tastes in things are rather odd. 


Side note: My mom caught me singing, Billy Joel's "Easy Money" off of his '83 (the year of my birth) Innocent Man album from the backseat of the car when I was little. But I had a lisp back in those days so all she heard was, Give me that eathy, eathy money."  


Another side note: Jesse and I had our first dance to a song that was originally written by the Minnesota native, Bob Dylan, and sang by my boy, Bill-ay (also sang by Adele more recently).

Side note to the last side note: When the pastor who married us was asking us what songs we would have during our ceremony "Make You Feel My Love" was playing in the background at the Caribou Coffee we were chilaxin' at. I felt it was an omen, and while the song didn't make it into the ceremony (I will tell you later which ones did once I decide to go into a bit more detail about OBFFW), I still wanted the song to be incorporated into our wedding some how, thus how it became our first dance song.


Need more Billy? Silly question. You can always use more Billy. 


Give this song a quick listen and imagine little Lauren signing it as a tot.  

And if that still wasn't enough Billy for ya, this is the song Jesse and I first danced to as hubs and wifes (our friend sang it for us, though). It was super awesome.

But back to Pinterest. Do tell. What's so great about it that it has everyone pining for it day and night? I am all ears and open to being convinced. Why? Because I am sick of living a Pinterest lie, and telling everyone about the things I am going to pin...when really all I have pinned thus far are some cute little polka dotted pumpkins. 

*When I copied the above status over from my Facebook it kept all of your names linked so that anyone reading this could click on your name and see your Facebook profile. While I am sure you'd appreciate the millions upon millions of people who read this blog to have access to your Facebook page, I decided to unlink them and just use your first names. To protect the Pinterest obsessed.  ◦

That post about Pinterest (and a shout out to my boy, Billy Joel)

things i should have done today.

Things I SHOULD have done today (in no particular order):

• Gone to LA Fitness to reacquaint myself with the elliptical.

• Clean out the coat closet. Yes. That's my wedding dress in there. I think that's why I have been avoiding it. Seeing it makes me develop some major post traumatic wedding stress disorder symptoms. On a related note: anyone want some scarves? I have about 346 too many.

• Finish writing wedding thank yous. Chipped away at a couple (as in two) and still have about 30 more to write. Won't be mailing out any of them until they are all done. Still feeling lame that we haven't finished these yet. Did I mention that my mom sent out thank you notes to several people after OUR wedding? Yes, I know they hosted it and all, but seriously? Makin' me feel like a deadbeat bride here, Ma. November 27th is my firm deadline for these. That's three months from when the wedding was. And right around Thanksgiving. A thank you note right on or around Thanksgiving. Booya.

• Clean my kitchen. It's not that bad, but I dropped a large-ish bowl of bleu cheese the other day and it splattered everywhere. I need to clean where Bobo's tongue couldn't reach. On a related note: That dog's tongue is freakishly long.

Things I SHOULDN'T have done today but did anyway (in no particular order):

• Sleep until 11, but only after bolting awake at 7:07 and flipping cuz I thought it was Monday morning. Having a three day weekend will do that to ya I guess.

• Lay on the couch in my favorite sweatpants watching football with my favorite husband.

• Discover new awesome bloggers. I love how this girl writes btw.

• Eat Pancheros from aforementioned couch in aforementioned sweats with aforementioned husband.

How about you, dear blog readers? Get anything done today worth noting today/this weekend? Or were you a lazy, good for nothin' puppy cuddler like myself? It's OK. Just one of them days is what I say.

PS--Jesse and I hung out with two of our favorite couples last night and found ourselves watching the first three episodes of The Wonder Years on Netflix (I hearted that show as a kid). Well I guess I only watched two and a quarter episodes and then allegedly snored my way through the last part of the third. That's right. I snored. Jesse told me when we got in the car. I was all, "Nuh uh, I don't snore." Jesse: "You were sawin' logs, Laur-anus (that's his nickname for me--so sweet, eh?). Me: "Nope. Don't believe it. WON'T believe it!" It took the greater part of the ride home for Jesse to concede and say, "OK, you don't snore! Ya happy?" Me: "See. I told you. I. DON'T. SNORE." I am pretty sure I do, though. I just didn't want to lose this round of Me Right, You Wrong.

◦

things i should have done today.

Belt It.

Can I just say that Friday weddings are the best evah?? Mos def! (that's short for most definitely, not a reference to the rapper) Congratulations to Bobby and Kendra on your lucky 11.11.11 marriage! I've attended a fair share of Friday nuptials over the last few years. Word has it couples are choosing the Friday dates as an alternative to the traditional Saturday, mostly due to venue availability, and the cheaper cost. Do I blame someone for that? Absolutely not. Who doesn't want to save some money?? Plus I also love the Friday events because it gives me a reason to take a vacation day. Hello three day weekend! Today is only Saturday, but it feels liike it's a Sunday. It's like Day Lights Savings, plus an additional 23 hours. Love.

Inquring minds: that's a food baby. NOT
a baby bump. But thanks for asking.

I am sure you blogtastic bloggers and blog readers think I roll out of bed looking this good, right? Hardy har har. Not so much. I have a job that doesn't allow me many (read: zero) opportunities to get gussied up (all sorts of bodily functions being urped on me from one end or the other), plus I generally don't put a lot of emphasis on how I look (let's not judge the sweatpant loving nanny, OK?). When I do have an opportunity to tap into my inner fashionista (she's in there somewhere, I promise!) I get mega fashion brain fart. Admittedly dorky, but I rely mostly on pictures my trendy friends post on Facebook and then attempt to emulate them as best as possible. Fashionable friends: you know who you are. Thank you!

Ladies and gents, I give you my wardrobe debacle from yesterday. The following items were what I was working with:

• A belted khaki colored dress (I wore to our groom's dinner this past summer)  
• A pair of leggings (OK, so I own like 22 pairs of leggings, most of them from the $8 rack at Target, but let's not do the math on how many dollars worth of leggings I own, k?? Jesse would fuh-lip)
• A basic black cardigan (an every wardrobe must have)
• These boots! (I am quite smitten with them)

target.com

Everything but the dress (scored it for $12 at TJ Maxx, thankyouverymuch) came from Target. And everything but the boots were items I already had in my crowded closet. Not sure if it's like this everywhere else, but Targets are a dime a dozen around these here parts (little known fact: their headquarters are just down the road from where we live in downtown Minneapolis). I find myself stopping off at Target at least two to fifty-two times a week. What can I say? It's my happy place.

So what's the debacle? Well I have been seeing the kids these days wearing belts over their cardigan. I thought I'd give the trendy look a shot. Here's how it turned out.

I really wanted to embrace this. But my insecurities got the best of me. So I opted to go with the belt on the inside, all the while still uncertain if black, tan, and brown go together. Do they? Do tell!

Please keep in mind that I was home with two dogs and two completely uninterested men (Jesse and his boy, Jungle Jo) who made fun of me relentlessly for asking them to take pictures of my outfit styled two different ways. Not surprising when I couldn't get a straight answer from either of them so I sent the pictures to my mom. She assured me that she thought the second look was better too. Do moms know best? 

In this case I think so. (Photo taken by the best Swedish photographer ever at our wedding this summer). She's got a hotty body for a 52 year old, eh? Yeah, and she is boat loads more stylish than I ever will be, so I am going to trust her judgement more than mine any day when it comes to clothing.

What do you think? Have you tried the belted cardigan look? Do you know me in real life, and plan on making fun of me relentlessly for posting a blog all about my wardrobe debacle? Line up behind Jesse and Jungle if so. I am kind of embarrassed about it so this playing dress up via my blog probably won't be a regular occurrence. No offense to people who blog about their style sense on a regular basis. It's just not really my bag, baby.

PS--Jesse and I stopped off at Target (for the 52nd time this week) 20 minutes before I Do time so I could buy a pair of earrings to go with my outfit, and Jesse could replace his missing black belt. God bless Target! 

◦

Belt It.

Guest Blogger: Wifely Duties

I have featured her once before. And now she's back by popular demand. Or maybe it was just my demand. Read Jaime's first guest post she wrote for us HERE. The following feature was originally only going to be a three part series aptly titled, "Wifely Duties", but after one of my and Jaime's late night, witty text messaging exchanges we determined that this could be an ongoing thing. We came up with several wifely duties that Jaime, the seasoned married lady could teach us newbie brides. You're welcome. Ladies and gents, I give you the very semi-talented, and mega hilarious Jaime from My Best Friends'Cousin's Wedding.


Lauren has been imploring me to guest blog for her.  And much like the beggar on the corner of Penn and 62, she will not be ignored.  So instead of a crisp dollar bill, I hand her my marital advice.  FYI:  Lauren gave me the topics in which I am to blog about.  Apparently she will be featuring them in a three part series, a trilogy of sorts.
 

Wifely Duties: In The Kitch'

First of all, the word, "wifely" is very biblical and used almost exclusively by cults, sister wives, and home schoolers.  Lauren was home-schooled for a year or two, thus, this explains so much.
 
Secondly, I don't cook.  At all.  I hate it.  I also regard almost everything associated with it as being gross.  That would include coupon clipping, rogue meats, passion for fancy crockery and Mario Batali.  And if you really want to go there, yes, I ordered my entire Thanksgiving dinner from Byerly's.
 
Thirdly, I advise all my single friends to marry a man who cooks.  I did marry for money, er, love, but the cooking part was a nice little bonus I discovered later.
 
Fourthly, I suspect "cooking" and "baking" are two different things.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I hate baking too.
 
Fifthly, many weirdos, ahem, people, say that the kitchen is the "heart of the home."  Really.  Who says that stuff?  I'll tell you.  Women who make hearts after they sign their name.  Women who have "keep calm and carry on" signs in their bedrooms.  Women who talk in the third person while they shops at Chico's.
 
And lastly, let's be honest here.  What can I possibly tell a woman who favors pizza rolls, crock pot stuff and buffalo chicken about "wifely duties in the kitchen"? ◦

Guest Blogger: Wifely Duties