Jesse did the honors of writing this post. I laughed until tears rolled down my face when I first read it. He really is the funniest person I have ever met. His sense of humor is probably his sexiest attribute (to me). It's a bit of a dry sense of humor (versus my corny con corny style), and my guess is that most of you won't get all of his joke (it's OK, I don't always either). But for those of you who do...well then you'll enjoy the following bit of randomocity.
So here he is. My husband's take on July-December. Enjoy!
Hi, I'm Jesse - you may have heard of me. I have been contracted to write this post with the promise of being presented with Eggs Erroneous for breakfast this morning (you're welcome to the 2 people that laughed at that). The blogging begins:
Rumor on the street is that Lauren has been writing a year in review for all of her loyal Blog-Minions (look it up, I dare y'all) to follow. It's been quite a while since I've done this, so please forgive me if I'm as rusty as an anchor aboard the Edmund Fitzgerald.
"All is quiet on New Year's Eve...." Depeche Mode - 1947
|Ehhh, close enough.|
Okay so maybe the lyrics were incorrect along with the band and year, but you get the point. Today is indeed the eve of our upcoming year. And according to the Mayans - our last. So what better way to celebrate the entirety of our human experience than doing a year in review for a blog written by two random people that hail from America's Icebox.
|Jerks - 1000 BC|
We will begin our journey in July 2011 (Side note - did you know that Augustus renamed this month July to honor his homeboy Julius Caesar? Whaddup wif dat?). July, as many of you may be aware, was one month before Lauren and I jumped the broom. As y'all could imagine there was plenty going on during this time.
Dr. Blogzilla's Hype Blog of the Month for July: "What Wedding?? Weekend"
In this blog, Lauren attempts to make herself believe that the wedding is not imminent. By doing this she actually stopped thinking about the wedding for 7 minutes that weekend as opposed to 3 minutes for a normal weekend around that time. I probably wasn't any better, so I really shouldn't talk.
DBHBOTM (Dr. Blogzilla's Hype Blog of the Month will hereby be referred to as DBHBOTM from this point forward) Rusty Medal Award for July: "Belly up to our bar!"
Here we detail our alcohol disbursement setup for the upcoming wedding. Many of our guests didn't know what time to even show up to the wedding, but they were well aware of this "open bar" concept. Interesting.
DBHBOTM for August: "Hitched"
Detailing the day that changed what Lauren and I are for the rest of our lives. Pretty cool, once in a lifetime stuff here.
DBHBOTM Rusty Medal Award for August: "N/A"
There was no other blog written during this month. Please spare us with only 15 lashes instead of 20?
|"No, no I swear that was only 12."|
DBHBOTM for September: "A Big Fat Blog Birthday"
This blog celebrates our dodging the FCC's Standards and Practices Act for 1 full year. They are still gathering information to take us down.
DBHBOTM Rusty Medal Award for September: "Mr. Jerle speaks"
This was a small "slice of life" sample written by yours truly about the extreme infancy of our marriage at that time. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll petition to have 4 minutes of your life returned to you.
DBHBOTM for October: "Wild on Wednesday 1.0"
The birthplace of Lauren's idea to add a little wackiness and Louie Anderson-esque humor to our Wednesdays. This reminds me of an idea I once had in college where instead of cracking open a Budweiser at 9 PM on a Wednesday, we would start with a Milwaukee's Beast at 8:30 PM. Simpler times.
|A buddy of mine once saidhe saw Louie |
gambling at Mystic Lake Casino and he looked
like death warmed over. I do not believe such lies.
DBHBOTM Rusty Medal Award for October: "Female Weird Al"
In this blog, Lauren attempts to usurp a man who's face will be chiseled into the granite of South Dakota someday. This man is "Weird" Al Yankovic.
|"Can't wait until Al gets here son!"|
DBHBOTM for November: "That post about Pinterest"
Here Lauren explains her introduction into the world of Pinterest. I still have no idea what this is, but I have no reason to believe this is not a cult. I am expecting a sweatsuit, white shoes and a recipe for Cyanide Kool-Aid to arrive in the mail any day now.
DBHBOTM Rusty Medal Award for November: "WOW us"
This blog is a follow up to remind the free world of the upcoming Wild on Wednesday. On a completely unrelated note, does anybody realize that Aaron Rodgers is one mere concussion away from making the Packers as worthless as the Vikings? How fantastic would that be?
|Too bad, so sad!|
DBHBOTM for December: "Button!"
I have a more personal connection to this one because I was around when Lauren was cussing more than a seasoned Drill Sergent while trying to get a button on the blog. I'm still not sure what the button stuff actually means, but it sounds important.
DBHBOTM Rusty Medal Award for December: "Gungle Go"
Gracias for coming along on the blog journey for the year 2011 AD. Let's hope that 2012 can be equally as mint.